


Chapter 3: You're missing in me

by Winterleaf



Series: Deeper and Deeper [3]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Model Im Jaebum | JB, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, Sad Im Jaebum | JB, Sad Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterleaf/pseuds/Winterleaf
Summary: Jaebeom and Jinyoung try to get along without Youngjae pushing them to it and they manage it surprisingly well. Jaebeom has a lot of self doubts which Jinyoung and Youngjae help him deal with in their own different ways. Jaebeom comes to a realization about Jinyoung.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Choi Youngjae/Park Jinyoung, Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Series: Deeper and Deeper [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005588
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Chapter 3: You're missing in me

**Author's Note:**

> Please ignore my writing skills.  
> This is an exclusively self-indulgent account which involves my personal kinks. I do not condone abusive behavior in real life. I enjoy some things in fiction because I know it's not real and I and my characters are safe. 2Youngjae is my OTP and this is my amateurish attempt to fill the 2youngjae tag with something that excites me, even if I lack the skills.

One result of Jaebeom dismissing Jinyoung's confession completely is that Jinyoung has gone back to his usual normal self by the very next morning. 

A normal that existed before they began fighting. He's not avoiding Jaebeom, on the contrary, he's being as friendly as if the past few months never happened. 

Including their relationship. As if they'd always only been just friends. As if he's trying to erase last evening and every memory of them ever having been in love from both their minds. 

It's suspicious as fuck but Jaebeom still breaths a sigh of relief, despite the regret that threatens to spoil his peace of mind every moment after that. This Jinyoung he could handle, this Jinyoung who fought back and didn't mope around as if Jaebeom had taken his reason for living. He couldn't take that soft, vulnerable Jinyoung for more than a single day. 

Jinyoung drags him to the gym after a low calorie, carefully curated breakfast that morning. Youngjae hasn't come back from the bar yet. He opens it at the same time every evening, but the weekend closing times are always late, stretching well into the early hours of the morning. He's also been working overtime so he can take a week off and fly along with Jaebeom to Rome to keep him company, leaving the bar in the hands of his trusted partner, Mark, whom Jaebeom hasn't met yet since he's kind of a recluse. 

Jinyoung was ofcourse staying back, much to Youngjae's disappointment. He couldn't get a week off work and besides, him and Jaebeom had been fighting too much for him to force himself on a vacation with him, even if he was paying for himself. He wouldn't let Youngjae cancel either, reminding him of his promise to treat them both equally and how it would be disappointing to Jaebeom if his boyfriend wasn't there to support him. It's all just too strange, Jinyoung going the extra mile to be nice to him, especially after being hurt so much lately. Jaebeom can't help the feeling that maybe Jinyoung is plotting some grand revenge, maybe it's just the quiet before a storm. But he can't focus on that too much at the moment, he has more important things to worry about. 

Jaebeom has only a week left before his next modeling assignment to be held in Rome. His agency is very happy about it since he's their only recognizable face and this is a huge deal for them too. He can't afford to have even an ounce of fat on his body as he'd be wearing dare-to-bare style clothing. Lots of sheer crop tops, sleeveless shirts, unbuttoned jeans, shorts that show off his well defined thighs and white, virginal togas. It's his first shoot after being signed up by one of the most popular fashion brands internationally and it's his first offshore shoot. 

At the gym, Jinyoung makes him go through all their familiar routines but is careful not to touch him more than necessary, only letting his fingers push and pull his limbs into position momentarily before quickly taking them away. Jaebeom remembers the intimacy of their previous workout sessions that almost always ended up with either of them fucking the other in the showers. 

Well, it is a sacrifice he'd have to make for his peace of mind. Maybe they'll reach a stage in the future where they can fuck with no strings attached, if Youngjae approves ofcourse, but right now he doesn't want to risk it, seeing as what Jinyoung has said to him just yesterday. He isn't too sure about his own feelings either. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with Jinyoung anymore, that much he knows, doesn't want the baggage of jealousy and resentment it's brought him, but he doesn't want them to be strangers either. 

Jinyoung hums quietly to the radio as Jaebeom drives them back home after their seperate showers and Jaebeom is getting quite comfortable already. This is fine. They aren't exactly friends but they aren't enemies either. He's grateful to Jinyoung for backing down first and making it easier for him. Especially now that he's nervous about living up to his agency's expectations. He might have bagged the commission with YS*L, but what if the response wasn't that good? What if YS*L decided that he was only good for a one time deal and word spread about him being dropped after a single campaign? He'd never work with another brand again. 

Suddenly, he feels a hand on his thigh and realizes that he's been bouncing it up and down the whole drive, a nervous habit he's had since childhood. A habit that both Jinyoung and Youngjae are well familiar with. He doesn't flinch when Jinyoung reaches further and moves the hand to his other thigh to stop it from moving too, it's familiar. 

"Nervousness is good, but don't let it overcome your confidence." he says, removing his hand once Jaebeom sighs in acquisience.

"I know." says Jaebeom shortly. But then he remembers that they aren't fighting anymore and Jinyoung was being sincere, not condescending. 

"I'm just..." he continues. "I'm scared. What if I give it my all but it's just not enough? What would be the point of it all?" 

Jaebeom can feel Jinyoung's eyes on him and it takes every bit of courage he has to not take back his words. He's just confessed to a deep rooted insecurity, one that Jinyoung knows very well. What if they have another big fight in the future and Jinyoung brings it up to use against him? 

If only Youngjae was here. Jaebeom would probably just park the car somewhere and cry into his lap without inhibition. Youngjae would praise him and coddle him and tell him he was the best baby boy in the world with a wink and they'd both laugh the self-doubts away until they'd come back to haunt him the next day, and everyday until the campaign results were out. 

"You know you can't get away from it right?" 

"Pardon?" 

"You'll get what you give."

"Excuse me?" 

Is Jinyoung saying what he thinks he's saying? What's that even supposed to mean? That karma's a bitch? So if Jaebeom isn't nice to Jinyoung, he deserves to be a failure in his career? 

"I'm just saying." Jinyoung continues, obviously struggling to find the right words. "I know you'll give your hundred percent no matter what doubts you have. You always do. This is just you talking shit trying to stave off the nervousness. No matter what the results, you'll find another way to get what you want." 

"How do you know?"

"Because it takes one egotistic bastard to know another. You didn't give up after years of failure and now look at you, modeling for Y*SL. You're signed to a shitty agency that barely promotes you, yet you bagged this campaign out of pure luck, a luck you created with your own hard work and dedication. There's no way to go but up from here on. "

Oh. So that's what Jinyoung was getting at. He'd forgotten how blunt Jinyoung could be, but also observant. Skills that helped him win any argument. It felt nice to have that sharpness directed to lift Jaebeom up than to put him down. Jinyoung knew exactly what Jaebeom needed to hear in that moment and he delivered. It reminds him of what Youngjae had said about them both being more similar than Jaebeom realized. 

For some reason, it works almost as good as praise and cuddles. It's facts, the blunt truth. As long as he gave it his all, Jaebeom shouldn't have to worry about the results. 

"Thank you." he says quietly. 

Jinyoung doesn't answer but Jaebeom knows he's smiling.

\----------

When they get back home, Jinyoung opens the apartment with his keys and heads straight towards their shared bedroom. Jaebeom is a bit awkward as he had wanted to take a short nap on the bed, but with Jinyoung in there and Youngjae being absent, he doesn't want to go in. He lounges around on the living room couch and turns on the TV while Jinyoung emerges with an armful of his work uniform and heads into Youngjae's room. 

"You can go take your nap if you want!" he calls out. Jaebeom is again surprised yet relieved at Jinyoung's thoughtfullness. He decides to finish watching the current episode of his latest drama before heading in. 

A few minutes later, Jinyoung is walking back out in full uniform, which consists of a white dress shirt and black cotton pants, workbag slung across one shoulder and running a comb through his fluffy hair. He looks as handsome as ever and Jaebeom remembers the feel of his and Youngjae's fingers combing through the silky soft strands while Jinyoung sucked them off, on his knees, next to the very couch Jaebeom was sitting on at the moment. 

They'd been feeling extra mischievous that morning, conspiring to tease Jinyoung the way he loved to tease them. So they'd begged and threatened until Jinyoung had gotten onto his knees and made a quick job of his skilled mouth and hands at intervals, without messing up his uniform so he could be on time for work. 

It had been a different kind of thrill for Jaebeom, letting Youngjae push his tongue down his throat while Jinyoung had them both cumming within minutes, cursing them for the hard-on he now sported. They'd laughed at his angry face, promising that it would go down by the time he reached work in the cold air of his car's air con. 

They'd made it up to him later in the evening before Youngjae left for work, pushing him down on the couch immediately and proceeding to make out with Jinyoung's dick in between their mouths, passing it between them like an especially delicious piece of candy. Jinyoung had spent the whole week waiting on them on hands and knees because he felt proud of how much they'd learned from him about spontaneity. 

Jaebeom shuts the memory down. He's already half-hard. Youngjae better get home quickly, horniness isn't Jaebeom's best friend at the moment. 

Jinyoung leaves after bidding him a cheerful goodbye, which Jaebeom returns with a grunt, eyes trained on the TV screen and a cushion covering the bulge in his sweatpants. As soon as the front door shuts behind Jinyoung, he immediately pulls out his dick and jerks off, cumming within seconds because of how near to the edge he's been. 

He spends the day watching TV and doing pushups in between, trying to distract himself from the hunger that tempts him to eat a whole box of choco pies in the kitchen cabinet. But he can't give in, not before his shoot. So he pulls out one of their sex tapes instead, starring Jinyoung and Youngjae all dressed up in fishnet stockings paired with colorful, short, halter necked dresses, flirting with the camera and prepping each other with vibrators for Jaebeom to fuck when he gets home. He jerks off to that atleast four to five times during the day, just to keep his cravings under control. 

Jinyoung really did have the most wonderful ideas when it came to sex. Youngjae was right, they'd never had sex like that before, with role play and an honest acceptance of their personal kinks, without any inhibitions or worry about being judged for it. Freedom and fearlessness, that's what Jinyoung brought with him. 

Suddenly, Jaebeom feels a bit depressed. If only Jinyoung was as thoughtful during fights, they'd still be together and exploring more of each other. But then he remembers how Youngjae insists that he's just as thoughtless as Jinyoung and he can't really blame Jinyoung anymore. They're both at fault for hurting each other and it's better that they stay just friends, speaking and hanging out only occasionally, keeping it light with no expectations or commitments. 

Later, around one in the morning, after Jinyoung has long gone to bed in Youngjae's old room and Jaebeom is contemplating yet another round of sit ups, the front door opens and Youngjae steps in supporting Yugyeom with one arm. Jinyoung walks out of his room almost immediately, he'd obviously been waiting up for Youngjae but didn't find it necessary to spend that time with Jaebeom in the living room.

Jaebeom lets that last piece of information slide past his brain unacknowledged as Youngjae kisses them both one by one and Jinyoung immediately takes Yugyeom's other arm. He doesn't look surprised, which tells Jaebeom that he probably already knew that Youngjae would be bringing home a guest. Jaebeom curses his self-absorbedness for not calling his boyfriend even once the entire day, which is rare. He hopes Youngjae wouldn't be too mad. 

Youngjae doesn't seem bothered about it though, as he tells Jaebeom and Jinyoung that he plans to take care of all of Yugyeom's medical expenses plus home care, since he's the boss and it's kind of his fault that Yugyeom is out of commission. 

"Come on hyung, it really isn't your fault! I should've waited for Mark hyung to come back to work after his day off." Yugyeom insists but Youngjae cuts him off sternly. 

Apparently, Yugyeom had been asking him to help change the faulty lights for days but Youngjae was too distracted by his domestic problems and kept delaying. Exasperated, Yugyeom had finally decided to do it by himself, but the rickety step ladder had caused him to lose his balance and land painfully on his right ankle. 

"It could've been worse! You could've hit your head!" Youngjae insists.

"But he didn't, so stop worrying hyung. He has a thick skull trust me, you should be more worried about your floor." says another voice from behind them. 

They've arrived with another man in tow, a foreigner who's buff as hell and aptly named Bambam. It suits his muscled arms and thick shoulders. He's very obviously a gym buff and Jaebeom catches Jinyoung, a gym buff himself, admiring his physique on four different occasions, turning away immediately when he finally catches Jaebeom's eye. 

Unfortunately for Jinyoung, Bambam is Yugyeom's boyfriend, though with the way they both flirt with Jinyoung openly, Jaebeom doesn't think it'd be much of an issue between them. 

"You sure you haven't considered being an exotic dancer Jinyoung? With your angelic looks, you'd be a sure hit. Bam used to be one, he could train you." Yugyeom is saying. 

"With an ass like that, you could just stand on the stage jiggling it and men will be throwing their entire wallets at you." Bambam adds. 

"Yeah I don't think so." Jinyoung chuckles. 

"Oh come on, just do it for us privately if you don't want an audience! I just want to see you up there on the stage once." Yugyeom whines, earning himself a smack on the head by Jinyoung. 

But Bambam apparently is fearless. 

"Yeah come on Jinyoung, we'll even help you jiggle that ass if you're too shy to do it yourself. How about tonight?"

Youngjae rolls his eyes at Jaebeom but surprisingly, Jinyoung simply giggles instead of hitting back with sarcasm like he usually does with Yugyeom. He seems to find Bambam endearing rather than annoying. 

"I still feel bad for leaving you alone with him hyung." Youngjae is saying to Jinyoung as they finally make their way towards Youngjae's old room. 

"I'm not gonna be alone babe. Bambam will take care of him while I'm at work and you said your partner Mark would be checking in from time to time." 

"Yeah, but still...they're a bit handful as you can see." Youngjae sounds unconvinced. Jaebeom follows along quietly. 

"We'll be fine. This is exactly why you need to go on this trip, you worry about us too much daddy." Jinyoung teases, sending him an air kiss across Yugyeom. 

Bambam makes gagging noises next to Jaebeom and suddenly, he feels like they could be best friends. 

But the next moment, he takes it all back when Bambam says, 

"If Youngjae hyung is our daddy, can I call you mommy?" 

Jinyoung turns beetroot red at that while Youngjae looks at him thoughtfully. 

"You know what Bam, I've always wanted to call him mommy. I mean I call Jaebeom hyung baby boy sometimes but no one ever calls me daddy."

"Thats because I'm too masculine to be a mommy." Jinyoung snaps, still red. 

"Don't stereotype mommies. You have muscles so you can pick us up easily, you have a deep voice so you can scold us for teasing you, you grow hair so daddy can help you shave, you're messy so our baby boy Beommie can indulge in his cleaning kink, you have tits big enough that I can motorboat them anytime and let's not even talk about your full course meal of an ass..." Youngjae says with a dreamy look on his face while Bambam and Yugyeom gloat gleefully at Jinyoung's red face. 

Jaebeom wants to bury himself deep within the earth and never surface after hearing the lewd words coming out of his boyfriend's mouth. It's not like they haven't done anything filthy with or without Jinyoung, but Youngjae always takes him by surprise with the level of dirty talk he can reach at any given time. 

They lay Yugyeom down on the bed and leave Bambam to snuggle up beside him. Then, Youngjae pulls a suddenly shy Jinyoung by the hand, who's been loitering around near the living room entrance as if contemplating sleeping on the couch again, and brings him into their shared bedroom. Jinyoung hasn't slept in it for weeks, sleeping on the couch or in Youngjae's room whenever Youngjae is late at the bar. 

Jaebeom keeps his face carefully blank as Youngjae points Jinyoung to the bed sternly then pulls Jaebeom in for a shower, since they're both sweaty. They spend the next few minutes soaping each other up while making out desperately and then Youngjae is on his knees sucking on Jaebeom's cock as if they haven't fucked in days and not just hours. 

Jaebeom places a hand on the wet bathroom wall and grips Youngjae's hair tightly with the other. Youngjae's mouth is wet and hot and tight against his skin. And smooth, velvety smooth. Youngjae hollows his cheeks everytime he bobs up, then swirls his tongue over the slit and Jaebeom is almost dying with gratitude. He's been on edge the whole day and no amount of jerking off could replace this. One look at him and Youngjae knew exactly what he needed. Just like Jinyoung. 

Don't think about Jinyoung, he warns himself sharply. 

But the damage is done and he can't help imagining that Youngjae is sucking him off with a tight grip on his hip while the hand that pushes his legs further apart and the soaped up fingers now breaching his entrance is all Jinyoung. That he has not one, but two lovers feeling up his body and heating it up with arousal. 

Next moment, he's cumming harder than he'd cum while watching the sex tape. 

Youngjae pulls off with a pop and then positions himself behind Jaebeom, sliding his dick inside with ease. The oversensitivity is just painful enough to not interfere with his pleasure and Jaebeom throws his head back against Youngjae's shoulder as Youngjae fucks him. He grunts and moans and imagines that the fingers playing with his nipples are Jinyoung's, until he's cumming again with Youngjae's name on his lips, clenching around him and sending him over the edge too. Youngjae grunts and fills him to the brim with his cum, then kisses his face lovingly, his fingers trailing down his spine in a heated path until they reach his leaking ass. 

Jaebeom almost loses his balance as his knees are still shaking from the fucking and the feel of Youngjae fingering his cum out of Jaebeom's ass and feeding it to him. He remembers how Jinyoung would hold him up so easily, supporting him and soothing him with soft kisses while Youngjae cleaned him up like that. Everything he does with Youngjae has Jinyoung's imprint on it too. It's getting too much to bear. 

He let's Youngjae wash and dry him and then carry him to the bed bridal style, where Jinyoung is already breathing softly, curled up on the very edge, as if trying not to take up too much space. 

Youngjae catches him looking at Jinyoung but doesn't say anything, stroking his hair back and kissing him gently before dressing him and then himself in pyjamas. He climbs up on the bed between them and pulls Jinyoung up further on the bed, placing a leg between his and spooning him. Jinyoung mumbles in his sleep but settles down again when Youngjae whispers to him with soft kisses on the cheek. Youngjae then reaches behind him and brings Jaebeom's arm forward to wrap around his own waist so he can spoon Youngjae. 

He falls asleep soon after that, wrapped around both his lovers. But Jaebeom stays awake for a long time, watching Jinyoung turn around to bury his face into Youngjae's chest and continue to sleep peacefully. The view is so soft, so innocent, so..right. 

There's a hole in Jaebeom's heart that he hadn't noticed before and he doesn't think it'll fill up anytime soon. 


End file.
